Cat Personals

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Adorably obese hoarder of chairs, rubber ducks, old newspapers, taco bell receipts, stuffed dogs, stuffed rabbits, stuffed bears, mismatched socks, empty yogurt containers, weird sweaters, pictures of babies, commemorative plates, postcards, place mats, cans of food, plates of food, bags of food, menus for food, plastic bags, cardboard boxes, comic books, romance books, books of any kind, porcelain doll heads, broken instruments, rusty nails, busted television sets and used napkins seeks someone who will submit my name to that A&E show and then stick around afterwards, even when they find the body of my last girlfriend underneath that pile of old tires in the living room. At least, I think that’s where I left her.

Adorably obese hoarder of chairs, rubber ducks, old newspapers, taco bell receipts, stuffed dogs, stuffed rabbits, stuffed bears, mismatched socks, empty yogurt containers, weird sweaters, pictures of babies, commemorative plates, postcards, place mats, cans of food, plates of food, bags of food, menus for food, plastic bags, cardboard boxes, comic books, romance books, books of any kind, porcelain doll heads, broken instruments, rusty nails, busted television sets and used napkins seeks someone who will submit my name to that A&E show and then stick around afterwards, even when they find the body of my last girlfriend underneath that pile of old tires in the living room. At least, I think that’s where I left her.

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